Wednesday, September 18, 2013

CO Mile High Power Rankings - Week 2



1. Thunder Express (0-2)
The new team arrived with a BOOM! Let’s be honest, they only started 0-2 to give the rest of the league false hope. They have this one girl in left field who must have caught at least 97 line drives. That’s an unofficial statistic, but still. It was impressive. The rest of the league is on notice.

2. The Peep Show (1-1)
This veteran team is always in the mix, but it’s hard to put them higher than No. 2 given their playoff history. And who beats a team 30-2? Not very nice!

3. Pretty Boy Floyd (1-1)
Pretty Boy Floyd is right! Have you seen some of the muscle on this team? Oh-la-la. Single ladies, you might want to scope out the boys in the “Ardent Coral” shirts. They’re not too bad on the field, either, pulling out a win in Week 2 to even their record at .500. PBF is sure to continue improving as the season wears on.

4. Ballzagna (1-1)
I just spent too much time trying to think of something witty regarding their name and lost my appetite. The images floating around my head right now are appalling. Thank the WAKA Gods for Eye Bleach.

5. Flipadelphia! (1-1)
After a riveting start, the Red Raiders lost a significant portion of their roster to expansion team Thunder Express and fell to 1-1 in Week 2. No matter. Their total domination at the bar continues, and if CFB doesn’t watch out, the Crown of Hardest Partiers might have a new owner by midseason. Speaking of CFB…

6. Coming From Behind 8: Giving them the business - Unnecessary Secksiness (1-2)
A 1-2 start isn’t too shabby if you consider most of their players are blacked out by the end of the second inning. CFB, however, has been a disappointment at the bar this season. Usually the life of the party, the Orange Pandas have seemed to prefer eating chicken wings and talking politics to raging.

7. Disco Ninjas (0-2)
You never really know what a ninja is up to, especially ones that knows the Electric Bugaloo. Don’t be surprised if this Irish Green team sneaks up on a few unsuspecting victims despite an 0-2 start.

8. You’re Killing Me Balls (1-1)
A merger of the PINK TACOS and STU GOTZ is a scary thing, and team captain Kristen “Werewolf” KW is a proven winner. Fans have to be worried about Jen "Hot Wheelz" Montgomery losing a step, however, as she celebrated her 28th birthday on Tuesday.

9. Truffle Shuffle (3-0)
It remains to be seen if this team can win without emotional leader Nicolette “Warhawk” Jones. “She’s our glue. She holds us together,” said co-captain Forrest “Creeper” Mears. “If she ever misses a game, we’ll be in total disarray. It would be like the Broncos without Peyton Manning.” As long as Jones continues to show up, there’s little reason to think Truffle Shuffle can't make some noise in the playoffs.

10. GROUNDS FOR DISMISSAL (2-0)
It’s a good thing their shirt color is lime green, or you’d hardly notice this team on the field.

3 comments:

  1. It's WIN - LOSS - TIE so your rankings seem to be a bit off. GROUNDS FOR DISMISSAL and Truffle Shuffle have impressive records being undefeated and all. ;)

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  2. I am appalled. The Peep Show should be #1, because the numbers on both sides of the dash are EQUAL! What? There are more teams with 1-1 records? OK, let's just flip these records around. After last week's NY, NY theme, I want to see some true Red, White, and Blue Bar Power Rankings. And don't just hint that CFB8:Gttb-US is falling short of their potential... #KatiGangles has had to grab too many people by the arm to drag them to the flip cup tables this season!

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