Editor's Note: This week we brought in a special guest writer, Golden. He definitely is not an anonymous regular contributor to this blog. He hasn't written for it in like a year or two. Seriously. Don't ask any more questions.
Kickball is the fourth-best thing to ever happen to me. It’s only surpassed by Cam Newton, mountains, and the day I realized my girlfriend’s dog loves me more than her. My success story is hardly unique. It’s one of thousands across the country, including probably two or three dozen right here in Denver.
I'm writing this blog mostly for the new or prospective players. When your team of free agents is getting whalloped 34-0 by Globogym still kicking for the fences and arguing every ball and
strike, remember this: only a fraction of what kickball has to offer is on the
field.
I played my first WAKA game in Spring 2010, in the Boston-area MA Minutemen League. I joined New Kicks on the Block, an established team that always finished near the top of the standings. Heading to play under the lights on a baseball diamond in Somerville every Wednesday quickly became the highlight of my week.
We took over our sponsor bar, this little Latin dive, and a
dedicated group of us always partied until they kicked us out. Sure it hurt at
work the next morning, but four years later I remember those nights more
vividly than any spreadsheet -- or any of the actual kickball games, for that matter. Before joining WAKA, I could count my friends in
Boston on my fingers. By the time I left to move to Denver that June, only a
couple months later, it took me weeks of parties and happy hours to properly say goodbye.
Starting over (again) in a new city, I joined WAKA Denver at
the first opportunity. I was randomly assigned as a free agent to Balls and
Dolls of the CO Mile High league in Spring 2011. While Balls and Dolls was
quite possibly the worst kickball team to ever take the field, I experienced
the same phenomenon as in Boston. My friend group exploded from a half-dozen people
to hundreds in about two weeks. Even then, CO Mile High had its established teams
and a somewhat cliquey atmosphere. I’ll let y’all in on a little secret: go to
the bar. Stay at the bar. Play flip cup at the bar. You’ll feel included in no
time.
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| Balls and Dolls: What we lacked in skill, we made up for in fun. |
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| Flip cup is the key. |
Balls and Dolls merged with, hilariously enough, the only
team we beat that spring: STU GATZ (sic). As it turns out, sometimes two wrongs
do make a right. STU GATZ jumped to immediate championship contention. More
importantly than that, I met people who I can honestly say will be lifelong friends.
The team with the annoying cheer changed its name to the correct spelling (STU GOTZ) and became known for crushing last-minute championship losses and enviable bandanas.
By 2012, playing kickball one night a week was no longer
enough. I joined the second Denver league, CO Recess, as part of the PINK TACOS.
Spoiler alert: those people were freakin’ awesome too. I became so enamored
with kickball that I started volunteering to write for this very GMOT
newsletter, back when the talented Hallie Myers was producing it in a beautiful
PDF format. STU GOTZ finally won a championship. Some people retired or moved
away or changed teams, but fresh faces came in too. Times were good.
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| The original STU GOTZ. |
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| One of my favorite STU GOTZ teams. Runners-up. |
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| Birth of the bandanas. |
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| Finally champions. |
How could things possibly get better? I met my girlfriend,
Kate, at the Spring 2013 pre-season party. I don’t want to get too mushy or
anything, but nothing will ever surpass
that as the crown jewel of my kickball career.
The CO Recess coordinator, Ashley, departed for
California in the middle of the Summer 2013 season. I was a natural target to
take over because I'm better than her at everything, and after intense negotiations (Lydia had to buy me a whole four
beers), I agreed to terms. I’d also joined a new team that season called
Truffle Shuffle. (Sorry, PINK TACOS. Spanny promised I could pitch.) It was a
small league and, thanks to karma from Benedict Golden, Truffle Shuffle lost to
the PINK TACOS in the championship. That’s not what I take away from that
season, though. Once again joining a new team was like gaining a whole new
family. Along with the players on STU GOTZ and the Tacos, Truffle Shuffle became some of my
best friends.
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| O.G. Truffle Shuffle |
In Fall 2013, I was called upon to run the much larger CO
Mile High league. Let’s just call that an eye-opening experience. Most players
have little idea how much work goes into running a season, from recruiting
teams/players to creating a schedule to planning parties/themes to resolving
petty disputes week in and week out. You have the impossible job
of making everyone happy. I swear, anyone who runs a WAKA season should receive
some sort of honorary Psychology degree.
We’re up to recent history now. I dislocated my shoulder in
September and haven’t really been able to play since, except in the Fall 2013
tournament to help Truffle Shuffle win its first championship. I had surgery in
January to repair recurrent shoulder instability, and at the earliest I’ll be
ready to go by summer. The safe plan would be waiting until fall. Perhaps even
safer would be hanging up my cleats for good. (But screw that.)
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| Mmm, Grounds For Dismissal tears. |
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| Trufflin' champs. |
Kickball has given me literally hundreds of friends, several championships, an awesome dog and the girl who comes with him, and memories to last several lifetimes. So if you’re new or prospective player and wondering what this kickball thing is all about, the tl;dr version of this tale is simply that my life is infinitely richer and more fulfilling because of it. Thanks to everyone who’s played a part, and here's to many, many more good times.
GOLDEN OUT
