Wednesday, July 25, 2012

WAKA CO Mile High Power Rankings (Week 8)

The weekly power rankings are determined by a poll of 15 Denver-area sports journalists. Commentary is provided by Kip Sayless, former Catalina Wine Mixers beat writer and author of Seven Reasons Logic Can Be Defeated By Yelling.

  1. Coming From Behind (5-2) – Will attempt to forfeit their way through the playoffs as the likely No. 2 seed.
  1. Bob Loblaws Ball Lawbers (1-6) – I am a prophet. I called this team's first win, and now the only question is, can they propel that momentum into a playoff run and a championship? My bold prediction: No. No they cannot.
  1. Pitches Be Crazy (2-5) -- This shade of blue is my favorite color, that's why they keep moving up in the rankings. Stop asking.
  1. All American Riff Raff (5-2) -- Eagles QB Vince Young infamously declared this the "Dream Team" during the preseason, and for one week at least, he was right.
  1. Shenanigans (2-5) -- It's surprising that they allowed six runs to Coming From Behind, since The Reach Around usually only scores five by forcing other teams to forfeit. Other teams take note: the key to beating Coming From Behind is holding them to four runs or less. And showing up.
  1. Drunken Monkeys (2-5) – A 14-4 victory! Really, what more can you expect from a team that's known for an animal that plays with its own poop.
  1. Dice. (6-1) – Dice. halts its weekly freefall through the power rankings by staying in place this week, mainly because the team photographer does a pretty OK job.
  1. Drinkers With A Kicking Problem (2-5) – Everyone has a chance in the playoffs, right? ...right?
  1. Your Mom (4-2-1) – A wedding is more important than a regular season kickball game? Clearly, this team needs to find some heart before the playoffs.
  1. STU GOTZ (5-1-1) – When you lose to a team with eight players you were at one point beating 8-0, you don't deserve to be ranked ahead of anyone.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

WAKA Denver Week 6






Week 6 CO Recess Recaps


Mile High Riptide:
Even with the weather hotter than a Pink Taco, Riptide suited up ready to save some balls (FYI:superhero material is not breathable). Armed with capes and tassels, we flew past the competition...no really, I swear we flew...right, Fancy pants? Patrick "Save A Kickball, Ride A Cowboy" Dahnert, managed to kick several homers while wearing a cowboy hat, then sat several innings on IR, then almost burst Captain's ear drum, then complained about Captain not playing him, then kicked more homers, and then...?

Meanwhile back at the ranch (in this case bar): Co-captain Andrew "Everybody Clap Your Hands" Mueesen made a valiant solo effort versus "The Bitches" on the flip cup table (don't worry Curry, when I say bitches I am including you), but "The Bitches" took the survivor win -- Patrick, can you remind us of the record again?  Adam "tap tap tap it in" Putnik...well, I'd just like to thank you for your brilliance, that's all.

The Pink Tacos:
PINK TACOS vs. LNLU
Each week the Pink Tacos get better and better and yet seem to have less and less TACOS show up.  Funny how that works.  Not everyone is ready to don the PINK and look extra sexy in a trucker hat, but those that pass the initiation live to tell tales of dominance on the field, slappin the mighty bag, and falling on their ass in a Nacho Libre costume.  The life of a PINK TACO ain't for everyone!  We also had some of the sexiest costumes and gave Captain. Fancy Pants a run for her money!  The true battle was back at Scruffy's where WAKA hasn't seen such domination on the Flip Cup table since the Boston T-Bag party of 1999.  WE CAME.  WE FLIPPED.  WE WANT A REMATCH WITH RIPTIDE!!!

IF YOU AIN'T PINK, YOU STINK!!!


The Codfather’s Kickballers: 
Codfather's kickballers faced the chirping peeps in a defensive battle.  With strong pitching and fielding on both sides, the game drew on, with the kickballers eventually facing their first shutout of the season…

Sit on My Base: 
Geez we played high mile! We setup up  a long con game, where we were gonna let them think we were losing big time by letting the score a ton of runs on us and get them tired....but they called mercy rule.....what the heck is mercy rule? I want a hammer time rule, too legit to quit!

At flip cup. We had a much better record then the week before!!! Booooo yaaaaaaa! nuff said yo


Teams that were too busy playing flip cup and/or curing cancer to write into the GMOT: 
The Peeps Show
The Most Interesting Balls in the World
Late Night Layups





CO Mile High Week 6 Recaps 

Stu Gotz
This one-year-old rivalry always lives up to the hype.  Over a span of four games, including the summer 2011 championship and the spring 2012 semifinals, Your Mom has outscored STU GOTZ by only two runs…total…both walkoff game-winners during their last at-bats. The only regular season matchup prior to Friday’s game was a tie. This time, Your Mom jumped out to a huge 5-1 lead heading into the bottom of the sixth and final inning. Golden got the rally started and eventually came home, but with two outs and a score of 5-2 the game was all but over. Then Ryan “The Sexiest Hero This Side Of The Platte” Barno stepped to the plate. With two runners on, he booted a home run to right center that tied the game. STU GOTZ, already loud and obnoxious, exploded in celebration. Sadly the game ended with the next kicker and no extra innings were allowed, resulting in another $%^&ing tie. See you in the playoffs, Your Mom. P.S. We’re still in First Place. Suckers.

Coming From Behind Part 2: The Reach Around
The Orange Crush AKA Coming From Behind 2 The Reach Around! rolled into Cuernevaca Park like a boss bumping Beastie Boys and full of Tequila and beer from a pre game pep rally courtesy of our gracious host Dave "The Champ". Our awesomeness was recognized by some of the members from Stu Gotz as they joined us in our pre game victory party. Keith "S.O.M.D" Stone showed up and provided some valuable offense and of course by being sooooo smooth we had some lookers on the side line cheering us on.  Defense was solid only allowing 1 run and the unsafe mixture of 4 loko, Tequila, Whiskey, and brewskies proved we were drunker then the drunken monkeys on the way to a double digit victory!!!

The raging continued late into the evening with the orangy dancing the night away.

Cap's note: Ohhh Yeah!

Drinkers With a Kicking Problem
DWAK sadly didn’t have good luck when rolling the Dice in this last game. Our opponents the purple
team or known as Dice was able to take us down one by one in each inning. We were finally able to get 2
Ducks home in the 3rd inning, but we came up short with Dice’s unstoppable offense. That’s all from this
duck and maybe with our double header we will pull out another win.

Shenanigans
A well fought battle between Ball Lawbers and Shenanigans in the late game. Most of the game was tied at 1 with tons of defense. Shenanigans pulled away and held of a bases loaded/no out 5th inning. In the end, the Ball Lawbers didn't lob enough balls to stop all the crazy shenanigans (side note, team chugger is still undefeated through 2 seasons)


Teams that were too busy playing with their capes and saving baby seals to write into the GMOT
Your Mom
Dice.
Pitches Be Crazy
American Riff Raff
Drunken Monkeys
Bob Loblaws Ball Lawbers

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

CO Recess Flip Cup Power Rankings (Week 6)

The Sport of Kings. America's Game. The Game Where You Only Remember The First Hour. There are many pseudonyms for Flip Cup -- but if you call it Boats, go back to where you came from because that's simply not acceptable. The men and women who play this game are the definition of champions, and everyone knows CO Recess does it better than all the rest.

1. Mile High Riptide (119-80-4) - The Tide are dominant on the flip cup table and on the kickball field, often known to celebrate with some sort of annoying clapping cheer that makes ears bleed.

2. Sit On My Base (110-89-3) - This determined squad uses intimidation to get into the heads of its opponents, though it reportedly steals ringers from other teams.

3. The Peeps Show (109-90-3) - If you're passed out face-first in your shepherd's pie and don't know who won the latest match, just listen for the inevitable CHIRP CHIRP.

4. Pink Tacos (100-95-1) - These tasty treats seem to be everyone's favorite team to play, probably because they're so damn good-looking.

5. Late Night Lay Ups (95-99-5) - Rapidly becoming respectable. Other teams might even start challenging them before they're desperate at 1:35 a.m.

6. Codfather's Kickballers (90-105-2) - When they field a full team, they can be dangerous.

7. The Most Interesting Balls (85-110-1) - They have only one direction to go, and there's only one way to get there: drink more beer.

CO Mile High Power Rankings (Week 7)

The weekly power rankings are determined by a poll of 15 Denver-area sports journalists. Commentary is provided by Kip Sayless, former Catalina Wine Mixers beat writer and author of Seven Reasons Logic Can Be Defeated By Yelling.

  1. Coming From Behind (4-2) – In a stunning move, the two-loss Reach Around was chosen unanimously as the new No. 1 team. An investigative reporter for The Denver Post speculates this is because many area sports journalists were wined and dined at USA Dave's pregame party and sold their votes, but she's just jealous she didn't get the Facebook invite.
  1. STU GOTZ (5-0-1) – The Cardiac Gotz may be short players this week, with half the team still hospitalized recovering from heart attacks following what ESPN8 talking heads are calling The Most Exciting Tie In History.
  1. Your Mom (4-1-1) – We learned three things about Your Mom last week: she still doesn't lose to Stu Gotz, it's awkward when she eats kielbasa and it's harder to beat her than you think. Congrats to Amy and Brant!
  1. Bob Loblaws Ball Lawbers (0-6) – Apparently voters believe because the Lawbers scored a run, the offense is now set to take off. This week might be the opportunity, as the team Your Mom will field will probably consist of a blow-up doll, a homeless guy recruited from the train tracks, one of those inflatable wacky-armed things from car dealerships and The Kicktator wearing a blonde wig.
  1. Pitches Be Crazy (2-3) – PBC could learn a lot from the sage words of former basketball great Doug Collins: “Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points, they almost always win.”
  1. Drinkers With A Kicking Problem (1-4) – Voters are forgiving this team for its narrow loss to Dice., stating off-the-record, "Well, we were rooting for them."
  1. Dice. (5-1) – It's hard to get excited about a team that's only averaging 13 runs a game. The offense has to start clicking before the playoffs, or Dice.'s legion of 618 Facebook fans may be falling asleep in the bleachers.
  1. Shenanigans (2-4) – A win against the fourth-ranked Lawbers is a step in the right direction.
  1. Drunken Monkeys (1-4) – You can't really blame the Monkeys for being distracted during most of last week's game against The Reach Around. The matchup also resulted in Cuernavaca Field's attendance record getting shattered. Apparently 20- and 30-something males are still very interested in ninja turtles.
  1. American Riff Raff (4-2) – The White Trash Thrashers somehow managed to sweep a double-header. A sure sign the world is ending in December.
GAMBLER’S GUIDE TO WEEK 7
STU GOTZ (Even) vs. American Riff Raff
Coming From Behind (2:1 favorites to win costume contest) vs. Shenanigans
Pitches Be Crazy (-1.5) vs. DWAK
DWAK (-1) vs. Drunken Monkeys
Pitches Be Crazy (-2.5) vs. Dice.
Ball Lawbers (-5) vs. Your Mom

Monday, July 16, 2012

CO Mile High Week 4

 


Week 4 Game Recap

Stu Gotz
A newly fine-tuned lineup was executed to perfection in the first inning, resulting in a comfortable lead. As usual, STU GOTZ took the foot off the gas and played to have fun, but the refs were eager to get to the bar and called the mercy rule only a few minutes into the game without even consulting Shenanigans to see if they wanted to play on. Booooo.

Your Mom

















Dice.
Dice. versus Shenanigans: A pitching combination of Brett Stanilka and Justin Andrew Anderson and mistake-free defense behind them proved to be too much for Shenanigans as Dice. pitched a shut-out in game one of their Friday night doubleheader. Playing with only 7 men and 4 women, everyone did their part in this teamwork-driven victory... especially the 4 of our 8 women that made it to Cuernavaca this week. 'Like' us at facebook.com/DiceKickball

Dice. versus Your Mom: Amped to play last year’s Founders Cup participants from Denver and previously undefeated Your Mom, Dice. got after them early with three runs in the top of the first inning and adding more runs throughout the next five innings. Meanwhile, defense was on point for the Kyle Boyd captained Dice. team as they recorded another shut-out in this one. Beside their forfeit in Week 3 for being short women, Dice. has only allowed 1 run total in their four other games. Follow us on Twitter at @DiceKickball

Coming From Behind Part 2: The Reach Around
We didn’t pre-game quite as much this week because we were spending way too much time on our costumes. Which looked amazing. I don’t know if you all noticed...but we looked really really really extra good. Not quite as good as Captain America...but we took lots of pictures so we could compare later.

Also there was this awesome kickball game against DWAK...they rock. They almost came from behind on us!!! They learn so fast...this bunch of newbies to WAKA are up and coming. Keep your eyes Damn You Brad Kicking it Right Over My Head Street and some legit bunters. Don’t let their name distract you, They, in fact, have absolutely no problem kicking.

Oh, then we dominated Stu Gotz on the flip cup table. They’re our favorite cheerleaders...would you all please wear skirts next week??? We love you guys.

Pitches Be Crazy















American Riff Raff















Drunken Monkeys















Drinkers With a Kicking Problem
DWAK was one yank away from coming from behind against the Reach Around. Coming From Behind
caught an early lead in the first two innings, squeezing in eight big ones. DWAK was determined to kick
some balls and fought back in the 3rd inning when they were finally able to bring three ducks home with
a money shot from Brad Street. Unfortunately, DWAK came up short as time expired before they could
complete a comeback for the ages.

Shenanigans
A well fought battle between Ball Lawbers and Shenanigans in the late game. Most of the game was tied at 1 with tons of defense. Shenanigans pulled away and held of a bases loaded/no out 5th inning. In the end, the Ball Lawbers didn't lob enough balls to stop all the crazy shenanigans (side note, team chugger is still undefeated through 2 seasons)


Bob Loblaws Ball Lawbers


Wednesday, July 11, 2012

CO Recess Week 4






Week 4 Game Recap

Mile High Riptide: It was Joe "Jorts Are Sexy And I know It " Robertson's birthday so we started the festivities by taking home a W (no thanks to the base running of a certain player who decided to avoid touching the bases...hint: Graham Cracker)...The celebration started with taking lots of shots...and drinks...Buck Hunter...more drinks...and more drinks...ok, I think you get the point. Joe's birthday wish was for Gin Mill's bartender to leave her fiance for him...don't give up buddy, I think you're making progress!  Oh, and don't worry Son "Sizzle My Nizzle Fo Shizzle" Ngyuen, no one saw the ball you dropped that led Peep Show to score their 1 and only run...


The Peeps Show:
1st Inning:  Slow start for the Peeps in the field, but we like to keep them guessing…Two runs by Riptide, almost three, but we argued our way out of it. At bat: Ouch. No runs.
2nd Inning: Experienced some rough waves. Riptide killed it at bat while the Peeps fumbled around on the field. Need some communication skills work! At bat: Ouch.
3rd Inning: The Peeps fielded a little better. Riptides had some great kicks. We realized we needed to have a rally session, refilled our cups, and did our “chirp chirp” cheer to get the mood back up! At bat: Ouch.
4th Inning: Beer-filled bellies ready to go! Unfortunately, it didn’t help. Still got spanked by Riptides. Oh well, at least we’re riding the buzzed waves. At bat: Ouch.
5th Inning: This is subtitled: “Asians in the Outfield” as Mark Miranda requested and I willfully agreed. Solid catches by the Peeps, but at this point we all realized there was no room for a comeback… At bat: Ouch.
6th Inning: The Peeps don’t get shut out! Chase wams it to the outfield and makes his way home to an enthusiastic,, high-fiving, chirping peep squad! Game over, high fives exchanged, cheers shouted, and flip cup challenges and threats made. To the bar!

The Codfather’s Kickballers: Game #1: Codfather's kickballers had a better turnout this week and with a good warm-up session felt ready to take on the Tacos…however the heat of the day brought about a spell of fielding issues and it wasn't long before the game was out of reach…Codfather's Kickballers lose…who knows by how much…

Game #2: Redemption. Purple goes down in a hard-fought, high-scoring rally by the Kickballers to overcome an 8 run lead to reclaim the sweet taste of victory!

The Pink Tacos: We showed the Codfather what a Fish Taco tastes like with extra hot sawce! 17-2, nuff said.

Late Night Layups:
















Sit on My Base: We gave them hell! In the end the green team just able to edge us out. Happy birthday Sara with a H!
Hi Courtney with the green eyes!

The Most Interesting Balls in the World: 









CO Mile High Power Rankings (Week 6)

The weekly power rankings are determined by a poll of 15 Denver-area sports journalists. Commentary is provided by Kip Sayless, former Catalina Wine Mixers beat writer and author of Seven Reasons Logic Can Be Defeated By Yelling.

  1. STU GOTZ (5-0) – The WHO GOTZ record might be unblemished, but the most brutal three-week schedule CO Mile High has to offer awaits.
  1. Your Mom (4-1) – A fluke loss to Dice. doesn't put much of a damper on Your Mom's championship hopes, as the savvy veterans are really only focused on the playoffs anyway. Basically, they're the San Antonio Spurs.
  1. Pitches Be Crazy (2-2) – The revolutionary lineup of guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-girl-girl-girl-girl seems to be working.
  1. Coming From Behind (3-2) – This spunky team is excellent at reading the rules, sign-making and drinking enough alcohol to kill (or at least cause severe brain damage in) an elephant.
  1. Dice. (4-1) – The most impressive thing about the win over Your Mom was the time when Joe took his shirt off. Oh my heavens.
  1. Drinkers With A Kicking Problem (1-3) – This squad is close to putting it all together. And by "it," I mean a fuzzy navel shot. Those things are complicated.
  1. Drunken Monkeys (1-3) – The team name reminds me of Legends of the Hidden Temple. Please subscribe to GMOT Insider for more exclusive, earth-shattering insight.
  1. Shenanigans (1-4) – A double-header against Dice. and STU GOTZ? Ouch. Someone on Shenanigans must have slept with the schedule-maker's ex-lover or something.
  1. Bob Loblaws Ball Lawbers (0-4) – Might be paying more attention to the production of the Arrested Development movie.
  1. American Riff Raff (2-2) – The proud former champions aren't going quietly into the good night, but there's no hiding it now: rebuilding is in full swing.
GAMBLER’S GUIDE TO WEEK 6
Your Mom (-0.5) vs. STU GOTZ
Coming From Behind (-2 Gallons of Jungle Juice) vs. Drunken Monkeys
Shenanigans (-6) vs. Ball Lawbers
Pitches Be Crazy (-32) vs. American Riff Raff
Dice. (Even) vs. DWAK
Ball Lawbers (-18) vs. American Riff Raff

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Captain's Corner





WAKA Captains are a special breed. They rally a crew of professional, respectable members of society for throwback to our days on the playground. They provide encouragement on and off the field, frosty socially lubricating beverages, and inspiration for theme weeks. They liaise with other teams, challenge calls, create spreadsheets of batting orders and field positions, make great plays, and are the representatives of WAKA for their team. Every week we'll highlight something just for our awesome captains: an organizational reminder, stellar leadership, a highlighted rule or disputed call, or some sweet action at the sponsor bar. Keep your eyes peeled!!

Captains Call of the Week - Exchange of Kicking Order

During the pre-game Captain's meeting with the Head Referee Captain's should exchange their written kicking order. All players on the order must be registered WAKA players. This is the captain's choice! But keep in mind that if you don't exchange batting order you cannot challenge ineligible players or improper kicking order with the Head Referee. 


5.05 Exchange of Kicking Order: 
a.  the team Captains or assigned team members will exchange their team written scorebook kicking orders prior 
to the start of the game; 
b.  any eligible player arriving after the start of the game must be added to the end of the team’s written 
scorebook kicking order. Players may not be added to the game after the team has been once through the kicking 
order; 
c. refusal to provide the written scorebook kicking order when requested by the opposing team or any Referee will 
result in a forfeit of that game; 
d. a claim of improper kicking order must be made to the Head Referee who will make the final determination. 
Such a claim must contain two parts: 1) that the written scorebook kicking order was exchanged in accordance 
with 5.05a; 2) that the claim is made on the field no sooner than the first pitch thrown to the accused "wrong" 
kicker, and no later than the first pitch thrown to the subsequent kicker. The burden of proof rests with the 
accused team. Any resulting play is nullified by a finding of improper kicking order, with an out recorded for the 
"wrong" kicker (see Rule 14.02i).   



Monday, July 9, 2012

CO Mile High Recap Week 3




Week 3 Game Recap

Stu Gotz WHO GOTZ STU GOTZ? We took an early two-run lead against Pitches Be Crazy and steadily increased our tally to 8. The "other blue team" did its best to stage a late-inning rally, but we held them off for a final score of 8-4. The Gotzmen have a bone to pick with Shenanigans this week, who stole away Hat Girl mere hours before the season started. The league is investigating what STU GOTZ owner and Russian billionaire Vladimir Kournikova calls blatant tampering and recruiting violations. There will be blood.


Your Mom 



Coming From Behind Part 2: The Reach Around
We know how to show up, keep it up, and come from behind. You know, it’s what we do. With a little bit of flair and style too. Matriarch Captain’s Evelyn and Lydia showed the boys how it’s done with T-shirt flair and a well researched batting order and field positions. Dice. had some trouble keeping the ladies on their team interested this week so CFB did what we do best, got out on the field and pumped out a solid reach around for them in a “we’re all friends here and not worrying about Vegas” good time game. CFB had some stellar defense against one of the best teams in the league (let them get just the tip with 12 runs) and despite some trouble getting on base against the Dice. Brett/Clay duo of sleevelessness we knocked back some Fourloko, PBR, and had an all around great time.

Drinkers With a Kicking Problem So far throughout this season, DWAK has been on a rollercoaster at Elitch Gardens as they fell again. No worries though, the will be back with a vengeance during week 4. DWAK wasn’t well represented at Hayters either as they heard the bar was out of nacho chips.

That’s all for now.


Dice. 



Pitches Be Crazy Where My Pitches AT????????

 
Shenanigans
Just about all of my awesome shenaniganizers showed up to ball this week and it showed on the field and at the bar. The game was taken to an early standoff at 2-2 till the top of the 5th when we got beat due to some shenanigans with hand eye coordination but it was fun and we balled outrageous like usual. The real legit part about kickball this week was after Hayters a quarter of our team ended up on a bad ass party bus in their WAKA gear and got into all the bars on the "trip". Regardless we all got after it and showed Denver the WAKA after party. Kickball even carried over to sat morning with some of us enjoying a light stroll from Lakewood back to Denver to retrieve cars, get breakfast and get home while still representing WAKA. Haha cheers!



Drunken Monkeys



Bob Loblaws Ball Lawbers


American Riff Raff