Steps to being awesome in kickball

1. Be yourself and show up with a 6pack of Miller 64, no one will judge. Haha kidding, anything less than 24 pack and we'll question your commitment.

2. Get there early and warm up. By warm up, I mean drink half your 24 pack and go pee every five minutes.

3. Argue with the ref on EVERY call. They love that competitive spirit. To show you appreciate his help and work hard, write his cell number under the phrase "call for a good time" in the port-a-potty.

4. When it's your turn to ref, step up to the challenge! Help ease that nervous feeling by getting black-out drunk, soliciting bribes, and developing your Jedi senses by reffing with your eyes closed.

5. Screaming in the face of your teammate, to remind them how they screwed up horribly is cool as long as you have minty fresh breath. So fresh and so clean!

6. Running around naked after you win the game is the only acceptable way to celebrate. Winning!

7. If you really want to show you're the best at flip cup, try it with a glass cup.

Obviously I'm psychotic maniac, and you should totally realize this is just for laughs