Wednesday, July 11, 2012

CO Mile High Power Rankings (Week 6)

The weekly power rankings are determined by a poll of 15 Denver-area sports journalists. Commentary is provided by Kip Sayless, former Catalina Wine Mixers beat writer and author of Seven Reasons Logic Can Be Defeated By Yelling.

  1. STU GOTZ (5-0) – The WHO GOTZ record might be unblemished, but the most brutal three-week schedule CO Mile High has to offer awaits.
  1. Your Mom (4-1) – A fluke loss to Dice. doesn't put much of a damper on Your Mom's championship hopes, as the savvy veterans are really only focused on the playoffs anyway. Basically, they're the San Antonio Spurs.
  1. Pitches Be Crazy (2-2) – The revolutionary lineup of guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-guy-girl-girl-girl-girl seems to be working.
  1. Coming From Behind (3-2) – This spunky team is excellent at reading the rules, sign-making and drinking enough alcohol to kill (or at least cause severe brain damage in) an elephant.
  1. Dice. (4-1) – The most impressive thing about the win over Your Mom was the time when Joe took his shirt off. Oh my heavens.
  1. Drinkers With A Kicking Problem (1-3) – This squad is close to putting it all together. And by "it," I mean a fuzzy navel shot. Those things are complicated.
  1. Drunken Monkeys (1-3) – The team name reminds me of Legends of the Hidden Temple. Please subscribe to GMOT Insider for more exclusive, earth-shattering insight.
  1. Shenanigans (1-4) – A double-header against Dice. and STU GOTZ? Ouch. Someone on Shenanigans must have slept with the schedule-maker's ex-lover or something.
  1. Bob Loblaws Ball Lawbers (0-4) – Might be paying more attention to the production of the Arrested Development movie.
  1. American Riff Raff (2-2) – The proud former champions aren't going quietly into the good night, but there's no hiding it now: rebuilding is in full swing.
GAMBLER’S GUIDE TO WEEK 6
Your Mom (-0.5) vs. STU GOTZ
Coming From Behind (-2 Gallons of Jungle Juice) vs. Drunken Monkeys
Shenanigans (-6) vs. Ball Lawbers
Pitches Be Crazy (-32) vs. American Riff Raff
Dice. (Even) vs. DWAK
Ball Lawbers (-18) vs. American Riff Raff

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