WAKA CO Mile High Power Rankings (Playoffs Week 1)

The weekly power rankings are determined by a poll of 15 Denver-area sports journalists. Commentary is provided by Kip Sayless, former Catalina Wine Mixers beat writer and author of Seven Reasons Logic Can Be Defeated By Yelling.

1. Bob Loblaws Ball Lawbers (1-7) – This team is really getting hot at the right time. It's unwise to throw the word "unbeatable" around lightly, but the Lawbers might as well start telling WAKA their ring sizes.

2. Drinkers With A Kicking Problem (3-5) – DWAK might have been poised to make a run in this tournament, but a first-round matchup with the Lawbers was a crushing draw.

3. Drunken Monkeys (2-6) – The Monkeys are kind of like Miss Congeniality. They're pretty damn good looking and everyone likes them, but do they have the makings of a true champion?

4. Shenanigans (2-6) -- This team has talent, but chemistry is lacking due to...wait, there's a burnt orange team? Do they know where Hayter's is?

5. Pitches Be Crazy (3-5) -- The Pitches are athletic enough to give any team a run for their money, but they just can't handle pitches with spin on them. "They be crazy," said the team captain.

6. Coming From Behind (6-2) – An anonymous source told the LoDo Times this week that The Reach Around is already scheming ways to get STU GOTZ drunk before a possible semifinal matchup in hopes the Gotz Mob will pass out and have to forfeit.

7. Your Mom (4-3-1) – The perennial powerhouse limps into the playoffs after an 0-2-1 finish, including a loss and a tie against archrivals Riff Raff and Stu Gotz. But they're hungry to return to Vegas. Literally. They're really craving In and Out Burger.

8. STU GOTZ (5-2-1) – Started 5-0. Finished 5-2-1. The Gotz Mob could face an early exit and a long offseason creepin' at The Shore if they don't re-establish their focus.

9. American Riff Raff (6-2) -- An early round playoff victory would help this team build momentum heading into next season, but most experts think Riff Raff is still two or three years away from returning to form.

10. Dice. (7-1) – Team catcher Justin Andrew Anderson told reporters this week that Dice. would beat the 1992 Dream Team, which made Michael Jordan laugh so hard his collar got bacon neck.