CO Mile High Power Rankings (Final)

As most of you figured out, these power rankings are a sham. A big joke. I mean come on, Coming From Behind was even ranked No. 1 for like two weeks. Ha! I hope some of you who have even a hint of a sarcasm-meter got a laugh or two out of it. That's part of what makes WAKA great; sure, it's more competitve than most kickball leagues, but we also know how to leave that fire on the field and have a great time together off of it.

However, in honor of the level of competition exhibited in CO Mile High this year and the extent to which most of you care (even if you won't admit it), I think it's only fair to present, just this once, a real Power Rankings.

Thank you for the great season everyone. I hope to see many of these teams return in 2013, assuming the Mayans weren't right and we're all boned.

1. Dice. (10-1) – Dice. came in to CO Mile High with a reputation. Few said it out loud, but many considered it a foregone conclusion that they'd win the league and coast to Vegas. While they didn't disappoint during the regular season, Dice. did get all it could handle from Stu Gotz in the championship game. The savvy players stuck to their guns despite a late deficit and clawed out a 5-4 victory in the final inning. If they get a bid, they'll likely be Colorado's strongest representative in Vegas to date. Good luck, Dice.

2. STU GOTZ (7-3-1) – Since forming the core of its current roster in Summer 2011, Stu Gotz has played in two championships and one semifinal in the most competitive kickball league in Denver. Unbelievably, they've lost all three by one run in the final inning. Every. Single. Time. The Gotz Mob does perhaps the best job in CO Mile High balancing fun with competitiveness, and that's what WAKA is all about. With its now-experienced players starting to play more frequently and in tournaments, it's only a matter of time before the Lovable Losers snag that elusive crown.

3. American Riff Raff (7-2) -- Having already secured a bid to Vegas with its Spring 2012 title, the Riff Raff players still gave this summer their all despite the tough Friday night schedule. Yes, Justin, everyone knows you guys came back from 7-0 to beat Stu Gotz with eight players. We get it. I can't wait to hear more about it at the end-of-season party. Good luck to y'all in Vegas, too!

4. Coming From Behind (7-3) – Watching this team come together as friends off the field and improve on the field since forming just this spring has been a pleasure to watch. Some other players got upset about CFB enforcing forfeits, but hey, those are the rules. Don't write them off because of it; this is a good team. They'll be challenging for a championship in 2013 -- forfeits or no -- assuming they stay sober enough to at least remember some of their innings.

5. Your Mom (4-4-1) – The record does not reflect the talent. Perhaps WAKA's most established team, Your Mom faced a series of circumstances this season (mostly related to summer Fridays being difficult) that left them short-handed many weeks. They also lost to Riff Raff twice in tight games and tied with Stu Gotz after dominating most of the game. If they return for yet another WAKA season, Your Mom will be far above .500.

6. Pitches Be Crazy (3-6) -- Strategy is all that's keeping this team from winning more games. The roster is one of the most athletic in the league, but if they want to advance in the playoffs they'll have to accept the need for bunting. If they're happy to just have fun and kick away, more power to them. The Pitches are awesome and a valuable addition to CO Mile High. 

7. Drinkers With A Kicking Problem (4-6) – Every season, there's a team of newbies that comes together and catches the attention of the vets. DWAK's improvement from week-to-week was tangible, thanks in no small part to a strong captain. By the end of the season they gave CFB all the No. 2 seed wanted, losing only 2-3. If they return, DWAK could see a meteoric rise in future seasons.

8. Drunken Monkeys (3-7) – The Monkeys are one of WAKA's most enjoyable teams to play, a reputation they've rightfully earned over the past few seasons. If they wanted to compete they could, but they seem content to have a great time and boost the friendly, fun spirit of the entire league. I speak for us all when I say I just wish they'd come to the bar more often.

9. Shenanigans (2-7) -- Shenanigans was a mix of players from previous WAKA seasons, many of whom seemed more interested in having fun together as friends than taking kickball too seriously. That's a fantastic perspective to have. Some teams play kickball to win, some teams play kickball to take a break from real life, party with their friends and make new ones. Both are equally valid reasons.

10. Bob Loblaws Ball Lawbers (1-8) – I honestly didn't get to know many players on this team, which was an assortment of folks put together through Yelp! As many teams of random people in their first WAKA seasons are wont to do, they didn't fare well against the teams of established friends who better knew each other and the rules. That's no reason not to come back. Most teams improve drastically in their second or third seasons. I hope y'all show up in force to the end-of-season party since we didn't see you often at Hayter's!

CO Mile High Power Rankings (FINAL FOUR)

The weekly power rankings are determined by a poll of 15 Denver-area sports journalists. Commentary is provided by Kip Sayless, former Catalina Wine Mixers beat writer and author of Seven Reasons Logic Can Be Defeated By Yelling.

Championship Week.

Perhaps the most competitive season in CO Mile High history will come to an end Friday night. Will a new champion be crowned, or will American Riff Raff defend its Spring 2012 title? The time for talk is over. The team best at palming abnormally sized balls will win. Any team with blue balls will lose. LET'S GET IT ON.

Week 1 of the playoffs was rife with upsets. Season-long powerhouse Ball Lawbers took a shocking first-round exit, while four of the five last-place teams somehow found a way to stumble drunkenly into Week 2.

1. American Riff Raff (7-2) -- After limping out of the gates early this season, the defending champs have seemingly regained their mojo. Only five things can stop them now: STU GOTZ, Coming From Behind, Dice., a tornado ripping through their trailer park or the sudden outlawing of Budweiser.

2. STU GOTZ (6-2-1) – The Gotz Mob spent most of Playoffs Week 1 first-pumping to Carly Rae Jepsen. The focus now turns to ensuring 4 girls and 4 guys show up Friday, which will no doubt be a challenge with Coming From Behind's players already preparing the flaming 151 shots.

3. Coming From Behind (7-2) – When DWAK managed to field a full and legal team last week, the sigh of despair unleashed by the entire Reach Around roster could be heard as far away as Amarillo. After squeaking out a win in CFB's first actual game action since the spring league, team captain Luis Barrios was quick to remind his players, "It's OK guys, we're still only two forfeits away from a title."

4. Your Mom (4-4-1) – Losing to arch-rival American Riff Raff two weeks in a row had to be painful. Not quite as painful, however, as the Audi I saw on I-25 the other day with a license plate reading YOURMOM. Fess up. Which one of you was it? AJ? Brooke? This only leads to more questions. Does the whole team have these? Are plates with YOURMOM1 and YOURMOM2 floating around out there? I'm so confused.

5. Drinkers With A Kicking Problem (4-6) – Snuck by a team that was short a pitcher, catcher, first-baseman, second-baseman, shortstop, third-baseman, left fielder, left-center fielder, short fielder, right-center fielder, right fielder and a coach in the first round and put up a heck of a fight against Coming From Behind in the second round. In all seriousness (for once), we at the GMOT hope DWAK continues to field a team in coming seasons. Y'all are a ton of fun and not far off from competing with the best.

6. Bob Loblaws Ball Lawbers (1-8) – David defeated Goliath. There's no other way to put it.

7. Dice. (8-1) – Dice. commands and deserves respect, which is why ranking the team No. 7 is funny. I hope the joke is now transparent enough. Sorry for misleading you all these weeks, national kickball pundits!

8. Pitches Be Crazy (3-6) -- The Pitches will continue to get better in coming seasons as long as they get some meds that "balance them out."

9. Drunken Monkeys (3-7) – Lost to Dice. 18-0, but this always-fun team assuredly had a blast on the sideline. That's what kickball is all about.

10. Shenanigans (2-7) -- "Friday nights during the summer are inconvenient," said the Shenanigans team captain and almost everyone else in the league after Shenanigans' forfeit. "We're fixing that for future seasons," the Kicktator responded.

WAKA CO Mile High Power Rankings (Playoffs Week 1)

The weekly power rankings are determined by a poll of 15 Denver-area sports journalists. Commentary is provided by Kip Sayless, former Catalina Wine Mixers beat writer and author of Seven Reasons Logic Can Be Defeated By Yelling.

1. Bob Loblaws Ball Lawbers (1-7) – This team is really getting hot at the right time. It's unwise to throw the word "unbeatable" around lightly, but the Lawbers might as well start telling WAKA their ring sizes.

2. Drinkers With A Kicking Problem (3-5) – DWAK might have been poised to make a run in this tournament, but a first-round matchup with the Lawbers was a crushing draw.

3. Drunken Monkeys (2-6) – The Monkeys are kind of like Miss Congeniality. They're pretty damn good looking and everyone likes them, but do they have the makings of a true champion?

4. Shenanigans (2-6) -- This team has talent, but chemistry is lacking due to...wait, there's a burnt orange team? Do they know where Hayter's is?

5. Pitches Be Crazy (3-5) -- The Pitches are athletic enough to give any team a run for their money, but they just can't handle pitches with spin on them. "They be crazy," said the team captain.

6. Coming From Behind (6-2) – An anonymous source told the LoDo Times this week that The Reach Around is already scheming ways to get STU GOTZ drunk before a possible semifinal matchup in hopes the Gotz Mob will pass out and have to forfeit.

7. Your Mom (4-3-1) – The perennial powerhouse limps into the playoffs after an 0-2-1 finish, including a loss and a tie against archrivals Riff Raff and Stu Gotz. But they're hungry to return to Vegas. Literally. They're really craving In and Out Burger.

8. STU GOTZ (5-2-1) – Started 5-0. Finished 5-2-1. The Gotz Mob could face an early exit and a long offseason creepin' at The Shore if they don't re-establish their focus.

9. American Riff Raff (6-2) -- An early round playoff victory would help this team build momentum heading into next season, but most experts think Riff Raff is still two or three years away from returning to form.

10. Dice. (7-1) – Team catcher Justin Andrew Anderson told reporters this week that Dice. would beat the 1992 Dream Team, which made Michael Jordan laugh so hard his collar got bacon neck.